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Fri, Sep. 14th, 2007, 01:38 pm
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"Urine-Trouble-Now"

Dear Diary,

Today was a pretty interesting day. We kept following Evil Villain Khaelaris (sp?) to his Evil, But Not Very Well Defended Citadel. We had to rescue the party's token Damsel In Distress, Horace (sp?) When we got to the citadel, we found it was, of course, poorly defended. So Ali snuck up the side cliff with her super-awesome climbing skills and discovered that in the courtyard of the citadel were this... creature-dude-thingies. Whatever. They were, like, animal-like, or something. While Ali and Xandessa were up climbing walls, Miri, Sedge and I had to stay behind. I would have gone scouting with Ali and Xandessa, except Ali was polite enough to politely remind me that I have two babies traveling along with me. Bored, Sedge and I went into the bushes to have sex. Sex is such a great cure for boredom. I even made two sovereigns off of it! I am going to be such a good mother, I always know how to find ways to make money. After we were done with that (which, btw, was so-so, which is awesome because the last couple times I boinked it SUCKED!) Sedge got all weird and was looking at me all freaked out. Probably because I'm so awesome in bed. Or, in this case, bush.
Xandessa somehow thought that the best way to get crappy climbers Sedge and Miri up the walls was through a pulley system that would somehow throw them up the wall. But then Horace contacted us via MindLink(tm) and started screaming some crap about ritual circles and evil villains about to kill him. Or something. God, Horace is such a baby. Sedge and Miri decided to storm the citadel via the front door. I decided that was a stupid idea, and climbed up the wall after Xandessa and Ali. Because I am one fast mother-fu... er... f**king mother. (I can't swear, the babies might hear...)

Once we got to the top, we noticed this freaking... thing floating in the air... it was like a bat, only white. And weirder. It was out of throw knife range, but I decided to train my spare crossbow (looted off a body earlier in the day. Damn, I love looting me some bodies.) on the Creepy White Floating Thing. Ali did some magic-y mumbo jumbo and started "pulling" it towards her.
Meanwhile, Sedge and Miri were kicking ass at the drawbridge.
Horace kept whining/screaming in terror about Khaelaris trying to take his skin. He said that the Silk Lady, (the evil entity residing in his head... craaaazy!) said that she could help him perform some spells or something, but Horace was quickly running out of strength. Horace asked Sedge (via MindLink(tm)) for some fortitude. But the thing was, Sedge kind of needed all of his fortitude, as he was currently fighting Hoards of Evil Animalistic Henchmen. I kind of like Sedge, and it would suck for our party if he were to die, so I *sigh* told Horace he could take some of my fortitude. I double checked to make sure it wouldn't hurt the babies. Horace said the Silk Lady said the babies wouldn't be touched. *ugh* I hate having the Silk Lady anywhere near me. I really wish there was some way to trap Horace in a cage somewhere and make the Silk Lady stay trapped in his mind.
Anyways, long story somewhat less long: I have to stay at the top of the wall (and miss out on fun fighting.... grrr...) because I have no freakin' fortitude left. Sedge still gets some fortitude sucked outta him, but he keeps fighting with Miri. In the end, Sedge takes out the drawbridge, which means hoards of Animalistic Henchmen go flying into a not-bottomless chasm, which was pretty cool. Horace and Silk Lady do mumbo jumbo spells, it don't work so well. Xandessa kicks some ass (I love her. In a not-platonic way.) and makes it to Khalaris' chamber just in time to see Horace's skin come rippling off. Xandessa chops off Khaelaris' head. Which, btw, was so cool sounding. I wish I had been there to see it. Stupid Horace with his stupid spells.

Of course, killing Khaelaris doesn't stop the spell, so Horace's skin keeps rippling off. So not cool. Between my awesome anatomy skills (my husband was once a doctor, you know. Er... my first husband. The one I'm still sort of married to. But we're in a different country, so we're not married right now. I think that's how the law works...) and Xandessa's super awesome sewing skills, we stitch Horace's skin.. on... ish... Ummm.. Yeah. Except its still seperated from his body. Like... ew.

Horace is also apparently still keeping alive the flayed girl, so I need to find her and kill her quickly so it doesn't keep draining from Horace. Tomorrow or the next day, the bird should lay an egg, and we can use that to heal Horace. I'm pissy because I want one freakin' egg for Beaubie, and we just keep using them to save people. Is it too much to ask to build up a stockpile of eggs? Every time we get an egg, somebody has to go and almost die.



Oh well. So that's where we are when I stopped to update my journal. I'm still thinking about Dead Guy #3 and his cute face. We could have built a life together. I don't know what I'm going to do about Beaubie. I need an egg to heal him, but what if it doesn't work? I'm to beautiful to be tied down to one brain-dead man the rest of my life. Especially in that bizarro land Abernay. Goddess. That family is screwed up. If I go back to give the egg to Beaubie, and it doesn't work, what will I do? What if crazy mother-in-law makes me stay, and give her the babies? UH, no, I saw your two oldest sons, you crazy wench. You're not doing that to my kids.

Ugh. Gotta go find a skinless girl and slit her throat. And probably mercy-kill any other skinless people I find as well. This sucks. No skin means no clothes means no pockets means nothing to loot. Sigh.

Fri, Sep. 14th, 2007 06:08 pm (UTC)
shogunhb

You can have a persona point.

Wed, Sep. 19th, 2007 01:38 am (UTC)
evan712

Dude, you aren't kidding. She totally earned that.