Dearest Darling Diary,
So much has happened in the past few days, I am sorry that I have not had time to write. But I figure that since a bridge is going to collapse on my head in the next few minutes, I should update you in case I die.
Beaubie is alive! And we gave him an egg!!!! And he's doing sooo much better. He can talk! I'm afraid that he is still seriously stupid, however, because he kept saying that his mother and I would get along some day. (Luckily, that bitch is dead. More on that later.) I am so happy that my darling Beaubie will be all right. Except for his being held hostage by Hobson, that kind of sucks for him. But he's not a vegetable anymore! Hurray!
We made it to Kardia City. It was difficult and scary and there are these big guards dressed in all black armor who are using the magic hoopadijou. we had to run, split up, and avoid them at every turn. It's getting highly annoying. Running through the streets of Kardia, trying to be nonchalant while fleeing for one's life while carrying a basket of adorable puppies... it's difficult.
Oh! The puppies are doing well. My attempts to make Xandessa love one of them is not working so well, but we've been kind of busy trying to prevent a regicide, so bonding an angry woman with an adorable puppy will have to wait. But their eyes are open now and they look less like bizarre alien creatures from the depths of Ugly, and more... cute.
The Abernathy's kept us hostage, Sedge was accused of raping a girl, but it turns out it was okay, it was consensual, she just happened to be a very young slut.. ahhh, i remember being that age. She's knocked up, and her daddy's pissed. Lady Abernathy is a righteous bitch, and I was going to use all of my jewel belt to pay to have her assassinated, but that annoying problem seems to have cleared itself up. She kept us prisoner, even after I cured Beaubie! that bitch. Beaubie is a little momma's boy, which sucks because he thinks his mother is not the root of all evil, but I guess that's good because that means I'll be able to control him. He ended up helping us escape.
we thought Sedge was dead. Beaubie told us they dumped his body in the river. Turns out, Sedge wasn't dead, he just had a crossbow bolt lodged in his eye. Eww. It made me puke.
Oh, and Sedge is screwed up. Twice now, he's killed people with no reason. He wrung a homeless guy's neck out in the alleyway. It was messed up. And then he tries and pretends he has no clue what's going on. Yeah, like I'm going to fall for that.
oh, so on to the important stuff. The funeral procession is today. We decided that the attack would probably come at Queen's Cross Bridge. don't ask me why, it just seemed like a good name for a place to assassinate the king. Ali and I "fell" into the water to be rescued by a suspicious boat. And I suck at swimming, we both nearly drowned. It was the first time I was really afraid I'd die. I freakin' hate the water. Im moving back to the desert after all this is over. So we got pulled into the boat while the others patrolled around the bridge. the water level was suspiciously low, and then i realized their plan: they were going to wash the bridge away. Then the king started to cross the bridge, and of course, shit is going to hit the fan. It always does.
I really hope I don't drown. I don't think it's fair, to almost drown and then be saved, and then a few minutes later drown again. I mean, that just freakin' sucks. Horace has the puppies, so if I drown, at least the puppies will be safe. And Lucky, wherever the hell he is. I miss Lucky. I'm just sad that the babies will die along with me. Poor things.