sorry I haven't had the time to write lately, my diary has been "detained" along with my other belongings. So I'm writing this in makeup on the inside of my dress. I have a feeling that when Ali wakes up, she's going to give me a dirty look. Or make a snarky comment. Or both. She's a fan of dirty looks and snarky comments, that one.
We're finally back in Kardia! No one in Team Adventures of Awesome (my new name for the team... I think Xandi [ed. note: The "i" in "Xandi" has been dotted with a heart.] will like Team Adventures of Awesome as a group name.) has really had much time to celebrate being back in Kardia, though. We're currently inprisoned.
We crossed through the Super Secret Awesome Mountain Pass, saw old goat-hermit-alcoholic-mystic dude, and came to a fort at the end of the pass. We decided to lie our way into Kardia. Which usually works so damned well. But it didn't. We got interviewed by some people, then Lord Roach [ed. note: The editor of this diary has given up on spelling corrections, due to their quantity.]\ talked to us some, and he decided we were lying. Ali forged a letter, but she forged it not so well, and forgot to age it. So we are being "detained".
I got "lemon" cake. It was yellow. And cakey. I like Kardia. The desert had no cake.
Sedge, because he threw a rock in the mud, decided to pretend to be a deaf-mute, and stuffed his ears with wax and quit talking. He is a very dumb mute. Lord Roach doesn't like Sedge, because Sedge looked at him at all mean: it was kind of funny, Sedge was sitting there thwacking his glove against his hand and glaring at Lord Roach, aka Lord Douche. As we were being escorted to our rooms (aka cells, but a little nicer), Lord Douche started being a Cock. According to Horace, Lord Douche attacked Sedge with a stick in the back of the knee. Sedge pretended to fall, bringing all of his (tremendous) weight down on Douche's foot. This is not going to end well for Sedge.
So now Sedge is on trial, Douche might die of a broken foot, and it's a lord's word against Sedge's, which means Sedges word isn't any good. Not that Sedge has words anyways, he's a freakin' mute right now.
Lord Rain is another lord posted to this fort. He's nice, but completely and utterly useless. We told him we were on a quest, and he said he'd help. So far, he's... not helped. We asked him to get us the hell out of the fort, which he can't do. And even if he could, he said we'd have to leave Sedge behind. I am not leaving my ex-husband behind! Then we asked Rain to get us our bags: there was some incriminating evidence in there, such as magical items and weird shit we've picked up from the desert. Rains was unable to do so. ALthough he slipped a note in to us via cake: I like that kind of style. Messages delivered via cake are always better. Although I've gotta say, swords delivered via cake would be a lot more useful.
Then Hobson contacted us via Dream Sequence. I have no idea who Hobson is, although everyone else seems to dislike him a great deal. I'm a bit of a follower, so I think I'll hate him too. ALthough he seemed pretty nice when I met him via the Dream. He wants to know what we're doing in Kardia, why we have magic links, etc.
So that's it for now. I think I'm going to see if the guards will bring me more cake.